i wrote an exceeding long entry about 2006 but somehow it got deleted--and as angry and upset i was at said point in time *cues fond memory of celia screaming vulgar things-unbecoming-of-a-girl* now i sit back and realise i didn't quite lose anything at all.

well, 2007 snuck up on me like a memory of an old lover, a quiet benign presense that just came to be; an odd familarity, and somehow looking back in the year it merges with the year before and the year before they all feel like big chunks of time just put through the potato masher--try as you might to pick the peas out of the potato salad, the smell of the darn things cling to the rest of it, cueing of course in my case the gag reflex.

the festivities from christmas till now have been nothing more than disappointing, and that is giving it some credit. as soon as christmas left the calendar last year i've been looking forward to this year, like a hound on a blood trail, like a child wide eyed infront of the pink candy floss machine. but this year's christmas snuck away from me, as a thief, leaving nought but a quiet sadness, which i cannot and will not attempt to explain.

if i saw things in colour, i know i do, but bear with me--if this season were a colour it would be grey, or mud brown. none of that fancy magenta or cyan or lime green like i wanted it to be; but mellow grey and dirty brown, ordinary even almost repulsively un-sexy colour; think of the sludge that is left in a water-and-ash filled ashtray--the dirty brown grey mix that smells as foul as camels; pun unintended.

2007's birth or days leading to its birth has brought with it: swollen eyes, burnt fingers from sparklers no less, slight fever, sake induced headache, powder induced vomitting (don't ask), itchy scratchy scalp from having those aerosol streamer sprayed into one's hair, not to mention the Cramps, capitalised because it was a real bitch.

so as you discerning people can tell, i haven't been one happy puppy--and 2007 looks bleak to me; again cue connotations of sludge brown-grey. i would like for 2007 to be a year of hard work and achievement; though realistically i don't need for big bamb! explosive achievements, but small ones that warm the very cold heart would be nice. i don't ask for manic laughter, just hold back on the tear-jerking will be enough for me.

i don't remember 2006, i'm sorry dear year; apart from finally being licensed to drive, i'm quite through with 2006.

but i will remember how you stood with me in the rain, and how you held me in my sleep.